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I blame my timing. I didn't finish my list of "21 for '21" nonresolutions until February of last year. Had I had the month of January to work on them ... Of course, when I wrote about the suggestion by Gretchen Rubin, author of "The Happiness Project," to consider writing such a list as an alternative to resolutions, I was impressed with her laissez faire approach to her own list. The things she did were marked "DONE." The things she did not do were marked "no." There were no...
In three days I will be the mother of a teenage girl. While I’ve had 13 years to prepare for this moment, I still find it taking me by surprise. Each December as Ainsley has gotten older, I’ve wondered whether I’ve reached the final year of what has been an annual tradition since she was little. On the issue before her birthday, I use this space to pen her a letter. I thank her for her patience in letting me write about her — and yours for your willingness to read about h...
My Christmas card this year is an homage to Christmases past, with a collage of my favorite shots of Ainsley visiting Santa over the years. I’ve been thinking a lot about Christmases past this year, from the little cuts my mom and I would get assembling our aluminum tree (remember the ’70s?) to our annual Christmas Eve celebration at my grandparents’ house in Dolton. My aunt, a mere 18 months older, and I would wait anxiously until it was time to go downstairs and open prese...
After covering Hinsdale school districts for almost 30 years, I didn't realize how exciting the job of superintendent is until last week. "It is really, really, really, really fun and cool," said Megan Monteleone, a sixth-grader at Hinsdale Middle School whose parents won the "Superintendent for a Day" item at an Elm School fundraising auction last year. "I knew he did a lot of stuff in the district, but I wasn't really sure what he did," said Megan, who spent the day with...
From the moment I realized Dan and I would have only one child, I've worked very hard to not be too nostalgic about Ainsley growing up. I've heard parents talk about the last diaper they will change, the last first day of preschool, the last elementary school concert they will attend. With just one child, every time a stage ends, it's the last time. I was so determined not to get caught up in looking back that I forgot to pay attention to the present. I think I've been fairly successful. But I find the older Ainsley gets -...
Every year when the broadcast of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade begins, I tear up. This is a great source of amusement at my house, with Dan and Ainsley eager to supply their annual admonition of what a dork I am. I agree it's ridiculous, but I can't help it. Every year, I try to figure out what it is about the parade that hits such an emotional chord with me. I wonder if it's memories of watching the parade on the black and white television that sat on a cart in the...
The jury is still out - literally - on the fate of Kyle Rittenhouse as we go to press Wednesday afternoon. I've been angry with Rittenhouse since I first saw the videos of him roaming the streets of Kenosha with his AR-15 rifle after he killed two men and injured a third. He became, for me, a sort of symbol of all the terrible things that had been happening the summer of 2020. Lives were being destroyed by police and protesters and a worldwide pandemic. As I watched the clips...
I was talking to my next-door neighbor, Judy, over the weekend, and somehow we got on the subject of her husband George's death in July 2017. She had been very worried in the days after he died about holding some type of event so family and friends could gather to remember him. She really wanted to have it at her house but didn't think she had enough room for everyone she wanted to invite. We had the space at our house, so we offered to host it for her. She promised it would...
I got the call a year ago this morning. It was a Wednesday - deadline day - and I had a lot to do before the next day's paper could go to press. So when I picked up the phone and the woman from hospice said my mom was nearing the end and suggested I come over, I said I couldn't. I would be over after we finished the paper, I told her. I'm not sure if I didn't think my mom would pass away before I got there or I didn't want to be there when she did. It might have been a little...
I have mixed feelings about Facebook, but sometimes I can't help sharing the memories that pop up in my news feed. Just this week, Facebook presented a photo of Ainsley dressed as a Precious Pink Wabbit for her first Halloween. I couldn't help but share it. A lot has changed since Ainsley's first Halloween. Most importantly, I am no longer in charge of her costumes. This year, she is going as John Lennon (she can pull that off easier than her favorite Beatle, Paul McCartney)....
I’ve been very interested in Buddhism of late. I blame this on Teri Goudie. She turned me onto Dan Harris after I complained that Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth,” was a bit too esoteric for me. Harris’ book, “10% Happier,” offered a more pragmatic approach, she told me. So I read the book, started listening to his podcast and got hooked. Buddhists like lists, and so do I. I especially like the Buddha’s first list, the Four Noble Truths. They are, as translated by H...
Ainsley and I took advantage of having Columbus Day off to do some back-to-school shopping. We headed to Yorktown, primarily motivated by the bubble tea store there. (We had visited the same spot Sunday, but misguided ordering had left Ainsley with a thick, sludgy drink rather than one filled with tiny bubbles that burst when you bite them. She wanted a make good.) A neighbor who also is the mom of a tall girl had given me some recommendations on stores we might visit. At our...
This week is National Newspaper Week. Surprisingly, I don't receive flowers or cards from friends and relatives. Just kidding. Most people probably aren't even aware of the week, but it's important to us. The theme of this, the 81st annual National Newspaper Week, is "Community Forum," and it's connected to The Relevance Project, a national effort intended to speed the resurgence of community newspapers in North America. We are fortunate that since we launched The Hinsdalean...
I still remember the first day I had to wear my poms uniform to high school my junior year. We had special briefs on under our skirts, but I was still very self-conscious about how short the skirt was - especially while taking off the sweatpants I wore to walk to school. By the time I was a senior, we had new uniforms with slightly longer skirts. And I had adjusted what some might have described as my overzealous modesty. Under a new state law, I could have worn leggings...
Mike Slonoff is getting married tomorrow. Fifteen years ago, when his father, Jim, and I started this paper, he was a senior at Hinsdale Central. We’d see him in the halls while we were working on a story (why wasn’t he in class, Jim would wonder) or spot him in uniform on the sidelines while covering a football game. Mike’s little brother, Matt, was a second-grader at Madison School in 2006. Now he’s a petty officer second class in the U.S. Navy. Fifteen years ago my daughter, Ainsley, had yet to be born. I lived in a differ...
Today I have the privilege of introducing you to our new contributing columnists. We have quite a big group this year, so I will keep my opening comments brief. Before I jump in, however, I want to express our gratitude to the writers whose terms have ended: Jack Fredrickson, Gabriela Garcia, Susan O'Byrne, Amy McCauley, Beth Smits, Alegra Waverly and Carol Wittemann. They have made me laugh, made me think and occasionally brought a tear to my eye with their columns over the...
We passed our neighbor, affectionately known as "Farmer Tom" (for the fresh garlic and tomatoes he's always passing out) on a walk last week. We stopped so our dog, Lizzy, could get a treat. (He's always passing out dog treats, too.) "I just love him," Ainsley said. "He's just like my grandpa." She stopped and thought a minute. "Of course, he's like my sixth grandpa," she mused. We made a count. With her paternal grandfather, my dad, my mom's second husband, my mom's...
The time will come, people would tell me. When I would complain about constant interruptions from a 3- or 4- or 5-year-old Ainsley while I was trying to cook dinner or do some work or even go to the bathroom, people would tell me there would come a time when Ainsley would hardly be home. And I would miss the interruptions. That time has come. Of course the start of a new school year - other than last year's - always means more time out of the house. This year Ainsley has...
One of my mom's signature phrases was, "Too much weekend." She would pull it out on a Sunday evening when I was anxious to get to bed early or a Monday morning when I was less than anxious to get out of bed. During the 15 months I lived at home after graduating from college, I went out a lot. And so I heard this phrase many, many, many times. As we spent our first full day of vacation in Saugatuck, Mich., on Aug. 15 lounging around the house - rather than heading to the beach...
Getting ready to go to Michigan in August has become almost as much of a ritual as the trip itself. We've fine-tuned our packing list over the years and start gathering our supplies - from marshmallow roasting sticks for s'mores to a battery-powered pump to inflate floaties - a week in advance. I've got a routine at work, too, part of which is to find a column I have previously written to re-run in this space. A favorite of mine has been one I wrote about a delicious grilling...
I walked into a meeting last week, grabbed a chair and settled in. At some point, I noticed I couldn't quite recognize the person sitting next to me because she was wearing a mask. I looked around and came to the realization that everyone was wearing a mask. I was the only maskhole! Fortunately, I had one in my purse and quickly put it on. I was more prepared when I went to get my haircut a couple of days later. There, it turned out, masks were not in wide use. These moments...
Pat Kenny made a list of promises to his wife, Eileen, before she died in 2016. The final one was to write a book about their son Sean's struggles with mental illness and death by suicide in 2006. The former Hinsdale fire chief had been traveling the country for years sharing with other first responders his experience about losing his son. "You can't tell enough people, and emotionally it's not good for you," Kenny remembers his wife telling him. "Write the book and tell the...
What would people think of you if they judged you at your most difficult moment? That’s not a question I like to ponder. I’ve made plenty of mistakes and would like to believe they are tempered by the moments I did my best. Four-time Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles received her share of hate after she decided Tuesday to withdraw from the team finals in order to focus on her mental health. A day later the 24-year-old also withdrew from the individual all-around com...
Sticky toffee pudding eluded me for most of my life. A lover of cakes and cheesecakes, I didn't discover this amazing dessert until I was almost 40. Dan and I were on my dream "Jane Austen trip" to England (with some dungeon visits thrown in to keep him happy) to celebrate my milestone birthday. In addition to visiting her grave in Winchester and her museum in Bath, both of which brought me great joy, I discovered sticky toffee pudding. I can't remember what prompted me to ord...
I have friends who went to summer camp - out-of-state camps in beautiful locations like Colorado and North Carolina and New Hampshire. My own summer camp experience was limited to the kind offered by the park district. Money was tight when I was a kid. Traveling out of state - or even out of town - for camp was not a possibility. So when Ainsley said, toward the end of third grade, that she wanted to go to sleep-away camp, I was excited that we would be able to send her. She...
