Putting celebration over competition is way to win
Last updated 1/24/2024 at 2:42pm | View PDF
I'll admit it.
I joined a Ted Lasso Fans Community page on Facebook a while back.
I was hoping the posts would share lots of great inspirational quotes from Ted. And there are some.
But many of the posts are from fans - fanatics, in the truest sense - asking what book Trent Crimm carried through the office in Episode X Season Y or explaining the double in/double out rule during Ted's dart game against Rupert or wondering if anyone else caught the nod to "Hamilton." Oh, and way too many questions about the episode with Jamie's mom.
Don't get me wrong. There are some gems on the site, too - mostly great photos of the cast at awards shows or sporting events or crossing Abbey Road.
I also love the recommendations for similar shows I might enjoy or movies and shows that feature "Lasso" cast members.
But the best post so far is one Brett Goldstein penned after the Emmys, which was shared to the page.
"What a fxxxing night!" Goldstein wrote in true Roy Kent fashion. "It does not get any less surreal to be at the Emmys. Saw friends, met heroes, got to present with my girl @junotemple and got to celebrate with my boy @phildunster. Turns out not winning is also fun!"
I love it.
Not winning was a theme after the Golden Globes last year, too, when a photo of Jamie Lee Curtis cheering as Michelle Yeoh's name was announced as best actress (comedy/musical) for "Everything Everywhere All at Once" went viral.
"Her mouth is open in what can only be called a roar ... It was a portrait of the purest kind of sisterhood - selfless, riotous, unconditional, terrifying to behold," Zoe Williams wrote in The Guardian.
Williams focused on Curtis setting a new bar for female friendship. I don't disagree. But I also believe the real beauty of that shot is that it shows the ability to celebrate someone else's success on a night when you don't win. Curtis lost the best supporting actress award that night to Angela Basset in "Wakanda Forever" (but went on to win the Oscar.)
It's so easy to focus only our own success, whether we're competing as individuals or part of a team. Hinsdale Central varsity girls bowling coach Paul Parpet talked to me last week (for today's sports feature) about his focus on victories during his early days coaching. He realized, over time, that playing is just as important as winning to athletes, sometimes more so.
Shortly after that epiphany, he instructed all his position coaches to bring index cards bearing their players' name to each game and mark when they had a chance to be on the field. Each name had to be checked off by the end of
the fourth quarter.
Let's face it. There's at least one person who doesn't win every contest.
I always laugh when I watch "Chopped" on Food Network and one of the chefs says how shocked they are after they are eliminated, when they know going in that three of the four are chopped every show.
The same is true at awards shows. Multiple nominees, one winner.
Among the 13 Emmys "Ted Lasso" has won over its three seasons, Goldstein brought home two, winning best supporting actor in a comedy in 2022 and 2021. So he knows exactly how much fun it is to win.
But he followed the advice of Buddha (or whoever said this, as there is some controversy):
"When you move your focus from competition to contribution, life becomes a celebration. Never try to defeat people, just win their hearts."
Brett Goldstein won mine.
- Pamela Lannom is editor of The Hinsdalean. Readers can email her at [email protected].