Hungry? Your stomach may never forgive you

Vive la France!

Today is Bastille Day — France’s equivalent of the Fourth of July — so break out the escargot and French onion soup!

Or how about the mac and cheese? July 14 is the comfort food’s national day, too. Ever try it with a nice Bordeaux?

As much as we amour our French friends, this piece is really about edibles. No, not that kind. So many wonderful foods and taste sensations in the world, but only 365 days per year to chow down. Luckily the good folks at offer some gastronomic guidance with a treat for (nearly) every date. We’ll just bite off the week ahead.

Tomorrow, July 15, is Tapioca Pudding Day. Yes, well, if you’re into that sort of thing. It’s also Gummi Worm Day. Something to consider as, say, a fun pudding topper.

We can restore some semblance of discernment to our diet by observing Fresh Spinach Day on July 16.

Yikes, thank goodness that’s over! Do I have any in my teeth?

We sprint ahead to National Ice Cream Day on July 17. One day seems pretty anemic for such a summer luminary like ice cream. Soft serve and gelato and sorbet likely have their own designated occasions. But feel free to partake of any and all of them. You’re partaking right now, aren’t you?

July 18 is National Caviar Day? Really? I mean, when was the last time you were even in the same zip code as caviar let alone putting it down your gullet? Pretty bougie, as today’s youth might remark. But, again, maybe keep it in mind as a tapioca pudding garnish.

All that is prelude to the decadent delights of the next two days. Let’s enjoy the refreshing flavors of the tropics July 19 on National Daiquiri Day. Frozen or not, a little rum never caused any harm. OK, I take that back.

You’re going to want to exercise moderation because it’s also National Raspberry Cake Day! Just what every kid asks for on their birthday, along with something made with spinach.

That brings us to July 20, the culmination of this weeklong feast, the dramatic crescendo, the final flourish ...

National Hot Dog Day!

What, not the mic drop meal you were expecting? The quintessential American dish, in all its sesame seed bun and dripping condiments glory. Hey, put down that ketchup and step away. It also marks National Ice Cream Soda Day (you knew ice cream would weasel its way elsewhere on the calendar) and National Lollipop Day. By the way, remember when banks gave out lollipops? You all may want to consider bringing those back if you want to grow those deposits. Just saying.

Peeking into the next week reveals just how fierce those headwinds are for medical professionals trying to keep us alive: July 21 is National Junk Food Day.

It’s worth noting (is it?) that July 14 is National Nude Day. Mercifully the occasion comes at the start of the aforementioned feeding frenzy and not the conclusion. Just be careful when shoveling in that piping hot mac and cheese.