Hinsdalympics? Musings for one-of-a-kind Games

The greatest athletes in the world have assembled in the French capital to compete for gold at the Paris 2024 Summer Olympic Games.

In anticipation of the pomp and pageantry of the opening ceremony and the emotional roller coaster tracking the exploits of Team USA, we couldn’t help but let our imaginations run wild with the notion of what an Olympics might look like right here in Hinsdale. Granted Salt Creek may be a bit tighter to navigate than the Seine River for water sports events, and the carillon cupola atop the Memorial Building is no substitute for the Eiffel Tower.

But hosting in the village would afford some intriguing opportunities to showcase unique local sites and, er, cultural elements. Or not, but it sure was fun generating this off-the-wall list of potential sports and sites:

• Sprints — Trying to make that morning train often requires commuters to kick those legs into a gear they didn’t know was possible.

• Golf — Ruth Lake Country Club and Hinsdale Golf Club are suitable venues, and there’s plenty of homegrown talent to represent the Stars & Stripes.

• Sailing — Community Consolidated Elementary District 181 Board members and administrators are sure to take home gold for sailing along with little to no controversy, especially when compared with their counterparts in Hinsdale High School District 86.

• Long jump — As an alternative to the traditional sand pit, competitors will instead launch themselves over the creek that cuts through KLM Park. Clearing a dog or two in the process is sure to land one in medal contention.

• Diving – We’re not sure if the diving boards at Hinsdale Community Pool are to Olympic specifications, but how about a contest for most original plunge from the drop slide?

• Pickleball — How is this not an Olympic sport? Whenever the International Olympic Committee wakes up to the explosive power of pickleball or its cousin, paddle tennis, the village is well equipped to serve.

• Road cycling — Teens who own the type of powerful ebikes that have been banned in the village might be attracted to this sport — although they’d have to use their own pedal power to participate.

• 3-on-3 basketball — Who needs to go to Paris to watch exciting 3-on-3 competition when The Community House will host its own tournament Aug. 17?

• Breaking — New District 86 Superintendent Mike Lach could be a contender in this competition as he tries to dance his way through the tricky situations board members are sure to put him in.

• Football — Again, shocking that this American staple has yet to be sanctioned by the IOC, but Hinsdale could make a real contribution to a future Team USA with players like Brian Allen, Doug Kramer and Kiran Amegadjie.

• Marathon — That’s a lot of running. We propose a race where motorists try to find a parking space in town during the middle of day before having to travel 26.2 miles.

 
 
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