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When I backed into a neighbors parked car a couple years ago, I developed a fear of driving through narrow spaces. Embarrassing? Absolutely. Seemingly irrational? Of course, but fear doesn’t always make sense. My sister visited recently and was highly amused as I slowly maneuvered through the Portillo’s drive-thru, my hands at 10 and 2, my car’s camera programmed on the screen to help guide me. “I should be videoing this and sharing it with the rest of the family,” she giggl...
I grew up nestled together with my family of four on a puffin shaped lake in Michigan. My mom stayed at home and my dad managed his business in town. Lazy summers were spent on the water, and in winter we built snow forts, went ice skating or cozied up inside reading and watching movies. In lots of ways, my childhood was enchanting, but like many families, there were tiny fissures happening beneath the surface. During my junior year of high school, my parents decided to...
I recently enlisted my children to help organize our basement storage area, which houses everything from Christmas decorations and suitcases to sentimental items no one has the heart to part with. After the initial protests, my kids - now 13 and 10 - exclaimed at the hidden treasures we unearthed: onesies worn home from the hospital, bedraggled stuffed cats and frogs, baby doll beds with homemade quilts and pink princess castles. Sifting through the objects, my daughter,...
When the children in our family were going through their toddler years, our uncle would often repeat, "Need help? Just ask!" I thought the idea was to teach our little people to ask for help before their frustration escalated into overwhelm. Asking for help doesn't always come easily, whether you're a child learning to put on your shoes or an adult juggling responsibilities. We live in a culture that values independence, busyness, hard work and self-care. Asking for help can...
This summer while browsing in a used bookstore in Michigan with aisles upon aisles of books stacked floor to ceiling, I stumbled upon a devotional entitled "100 Days to Brave." I'm not sure what drew me to this particular book. Perhaps these days we all need a nudge toward courage, a boost out of our comfort zones. Picking it up, the jacket read: "For the next 100 days, let Annie F. Downs show you that you are braver than you know, and with that knowledge in your back pocket,...
My mother immigrated to the United States from England by way of Greece just a few years before I was born. My British heritage meant my childhood was steeped in tea with a splash of milk and a generous amount of sugar. Sick, lonely, ordinary, celebratory and tearful days all called for a cup. This custom lent a stabilizing habit that followed me into motherhood. A few weeks after the birth of my first child, I called the doctor in a fit of new mother nerves, explaining in a q...
I recently stumbled into a conversation about faith, my palms sweaty, my heart pounding. We were about to break the unspoken rule of dinner gatherings: no discussion about politics or religion in this cultural moment, the risk of offense is too great with ever-present land mines that will cancel you out of the relationship. But there we were, seated on the couch, while the dessert was plated and the kids' voices rang around us. I listened as we sipped our drinks and my friend...
My husband and I have a running annual competition to see who can go the longest without complaining about the winter weather. This year he won swiftly when the blizzard-like conditions settled in just ahead of Christmas. Though I've lived in the Midwest all my life and am not unseasoned to the climate, I find myself on Zillow daydreaming about a Florida address once the temperature drops. I lament the frigid weather, sunless skies and days cut short by darkness, so when I...
I don't know when it happened, but at some point a veil of unnecessary urgency settled over things. The school drop-off, the grocery store run, paperwork, laundry, meetings, phone calls, emails, texts, volunteering, helping with homework, preparing dinner and a smattering of extracurricular activities for every member of our household. All of these are chosen, worthy pursuits, yet overfilling our days with good things leaves little time to linger and the word "Hurry" on my lip...
I stood in line at the grocery store behind a mother and her two young children. I watched her unload her cart and manage her kids with such serenity and patience that I confess, at first, I wondered if she was the nanny. She calmly denied requests for cereal for lunch, gently admonished her older child for hitting the younger one and lovingly coaxed off the floor her daughter, who was splayed on it like a snow angel. "You're doing a wonderful job as a mom," I told her,...
