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Many of us have a person in our lives that we have mixed feelings about. It could be a relative, friend or a partner. You might really care for and love that person while at the same time feel disappointed and/or hurt by them. We might hope for change in our relationship with that person yet continue to be let down. How close you are emotionally to them and how frequent your interactions are can also impact the intensity of our mixed feelings. My father, who passed away in...
This time of year always seems like a good time for a mental health PSA. It can start to feel like there's no end in sight to the cold and dreary days, leaving many feeling low in mood. Moving out of the pandemic, I've noticed the silver lining is a better understanding and acceptance of mental health challenges. As we hopefully continue to progress in this direction, the following can be helpful to keep in mind: • Things aren't always as they look. Despite my professional und...
I've been thinking a lot about personal narratives as we continue to live through one historical event after another. Our internal stories are with us day in and day out. They continuously get activated by positive and negative situations and events setting the tone for the way we perceive ourselves, interact with others and view the world. The stories we tell ourselves can either lend to our ability to problem solve or get us stuck in negative patterns of thinking, feeling...
Any parent knows conflict with your child is part of the territory. Certain ages and stages are known for higher parent-child conflict; however, they aren't the only time tensions can arise. Conflict is a natural part of life. It's not whether we have it, but how we deal with it that matters. Identifying the root of conflict with your child helps with understanding how to manage it. Is it related to something situational, such as a loss in the family or other trauma?...
The beginning of school is generally a steep climb for parents. Keeping up with the emails, forms to sign, supplies needed and scheduling extracurriculars is a major task. Add on the COVID-19 guidelines and related updates, and it's enough to make the eyes cross for even the most organized parent. First, let's acknowledge that living through a global pandemic has been and still is traumatizing. Many factors remain fluid and continue to change. Pandemic living often has us...
Two weeks ago, I wrote about focusing on tips for dealing with discomfort, something 2020 has provided us in spades. As we continue to experience the perfect storm of physical, psychological and financial distress, let's consider why things can feel uncomfortable and shifting your relationship with discomfort. So, how comfortable are you with being uncomfortable? Some people seem able to go with it, while others fervently avoid discomfort. Some folks, consciously or...
How is everyone doing? This has officially been The Year of Discomfort. We've collectively experienced uncomfortable circumstances and events, lived our lives in uncomfortable ways and had uncomfortable conversations about uncomfortable topics. As if 2020 hasn't provided enough opportunities for unease, the holiday season is now upon us. The holidays will look and feel different for most. What we thought would be a sprint has become a marathon, and the distress in our lives...
Five years ago, Tara DeGeer's teenage son expressed concern about the well-being of his peers after the suicide of a local high school student. He worried about how others were doing with news of the student's death and that there could be copycat suicides. In response, DeGeer created The Parent List, a Hinsdale Central PTO-supported online platform where parents may leave an anonymous positive review of a professional who was helpful to their child. The Parent List contains...
Dear parents, I feel your pain. If you were ambivalent about your child's screen time pre-pandemic, now you might really be feeling that way. Our kids are exclusively learning online and have fewer options for entertaining themselves. Perhaps you're not only concerned about how much time your child is spending online, but also about the quality of what they're spending it on beyond schoolwork. You might rely on your child being on a screen to get through your work day or...
